1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people
who run the country.

2. The New York Times is read by people who think
they run the country.

3. The Washington Post is read by people who think
they should run the country.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they
ought to run the country but don't really
understand the Washington Post. They do, however
like the smog statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who
wouldn't mind running the country, if they could
spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave
L.A. to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose
parents used to run the country.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who
aren't too sure who's running the country, and
don't really care as long as they can get a seat
on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't
care who's running the country either, as long as
they do something really scandalous, preferably
while intoxicated.

9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people
who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone
is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all
that they stand for. There are occasional
exceptions if the leaders are handicapped
minority, feministic atheist dwarfs, who also
happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or
galaxy as long as they are democrats.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are
running another country, but need the baseball
scores.